Review: If I Lie by Corrine Jackson (YA)

If I Lie by Corrine Jackson

Quinn and Carey live in a military town, and the two have been like Barbie and Ken since they started dating.  However, their relationship has been comfortable and chaste; more like best friends than lovers.  Quinn won’t admit that sparks fly instead with Carey’s best friend, Blake.  When Carey enlists in the Marines during his senior year, he confesses to Quinn that he’s gay (don’t worry, this isn’t a spoiler.  This happens on page 24.).  They break up, and that night, Quinn goes to Blake’s house.  They share a night together.  The next morning, Carey calls Quinn and begs her to meet him.  She finds Carey bloody and battered, after he kissed the boy he liked and was caught.  Carey begs Quinn to pretend they’re still dating, promising that someday he’ll come out to his family and friends.  Just not now.  Blake is infuriated; feeling like Quinn lied to him and tricked him into sleeping with her. 

When Carey leaves for Afghanistan, an incriminating photo of Quinn and Blake surface, where only Quinn’s face can be seen.  Everyone turns against Quinn and calls her a host of names: traitor, slut, whore, b*tch.  They can’t believe she cheated on her boyfriend—a Marine and hero.  When Carey goes MIA, she is again in the spotlight.  She is teased and harassed.  She is ignored and abused.  Even her parents turn against her.  Will she keep Carey’s secret, even if it costs her everything?

I really enjoyed this book.  It was intense, emotional and touching.  It showed how judgmental and cruel people can be.  How difficult forgiveness can be.  How hopeless life can seem when feeling alone and unloved.  How much work it takes to transform oneself.  

The military aspects of this book were also interesting.  There is a lot of information about what its like to live in a Marine family, how people cope (or not) when coming back from the war, the experience of being gay in the military, and the Veteran’s History Project.  Quinn’s relationship with George, an old man at the VA hospital, was amazing.  Be warned.  By the end of this book, I bawled my head off.  Quinn’s inner strength and perseverance are commendable, but at times it makes for an excruciating read. Still, it’s a worthy read and I recommend this book.